Friday, August 2, 2013

Dallas Safety Barry Church Can Now Satisfy His Sweet Tooth Without Putting His Game in Danger

Ever since teams started reporting to training camp we have been hearing about players that have not been able to practice because they had either enjoyed one too many slabs of ribs or just didn't work out enough. Dallas Cowboys safety Barry Church has been forced to sit out practice due to his eating habits, but not for the same reason as everyone else.

He chipped a tooth on a Jolly Rancher.

Thanks to the chipped tooth he had to get a root canal. If you've never had one, if you don't get enough anesthesia--man, the operation really sucks. Well done or not the surgery is going to knock you out of commission for awhile if you are a professional athlete--like Barry Church.

This is a big year for the Cowboys. Once again they have the talent; it is just a matter of keeping it all on the field so that it can gel into a well-oiled machine. The defense is forced to take a step back while Church recovers.

In an effort to make sure lightning doesn't strike again a popular candy company has offered to give him a year supply of their delicious treat; one that it is impossible to chip a tooth on.

“So here is our sweet offer: Since we produce everyone’s favorite combination of sweet colored sugar and fluffy marshmallows, PEEPS Brand would like to provide you with a season’s worth assortment of PEEPS, plenty of soft, marshmallowy goodness that will satisfy your sweet tooth and keep your dental procedures to a minimum. We will send you a wide array of flavors and shapes to carry you and your teammates through the football season.”
Like any man should, Church has happily accepted the gift:

“I’ll definitely take the year’s supply of PEEPS,” Church said, laughing. “It’s a good candy. I’ll be able to share the wealth with everybody.”

However, while he does have an alternative to Jolly Ranchers now, Church is not going to quit his JR habit--at least not all together.

“I’m not going to swear off them, because they’re a really tasty candy....but I’m going to try to hold back on them.”

Maybe he should put his mouth piece in next time though.

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