Saturday, January 18, 2014

Boston Market Zings Jets Tight End Kellen Winslow Jr. Over Drug/Masturbation Arrest

Geno Smith owes Kellen Winslow Jr. big time. If it wasn't for his tight end folks would be talking about him being kicked off a plane for acting like a turd. What is going to get more attention though--a QB that acts like a spoiled prima donna or a bad boy tight end that gets caught with weed and whacking off in a Target parking lot while looking for a Boston Market.

Yeah. Easy choice.

The Winslow story started off pretty typical. Hearing about a guy getting caught with drugs is nothing unusual (it was synthetic weed called Mr. Happy and Funky Monkey; he claimed he was smoking it to relax and because the NFL doesn't test for it). This all happened in November though, so why is making the internet rounds now?

Getting caught with an open container of Vaseline and being accused of jerking your chicken in public--yeah, that's a little unusual.

Winslow of course denies it and his agent claims he was just trying to change his clothes so he wouldn't smell like smoke. When approached by a cop he said he was just trying to find a Boston Market.

Guilt or not, the attention that his story has been getting has been putting the name "Boston Market" in front of thousands if not millions of faces. You can't get better advertising than that!

So not one to be ungrateful the company sent KW a little message via Twitter:

You know...because not being able to find one can be stressful...might even force you to smoke some weed and masturbate in order to calm down and relax (or work up an appetite).


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